After work today, I headed straight to the grocery store. I don’t like to grocery shop on weeknights because I’m usually exhausted after work. But tonight I had no choice; we were out of just about everything! When I finally got home with the groceries (LOTS and LOTS of them!) and got them all in the house (thanks to Kristina and her friends), I decided to check to see if there was anything in the mail box. That’s when I saw it – A letter from my birth-mother! The first time I ever saw her handwriting.
It is extremely difficult to verbalize the many feelings I have experienced the past two months. First, I NEVER thought my birth-mother would ever be located. Second, I NEVER thought I would ever speak to her, let alone plan a trip to meet her. Although I have spent many hours of my life thinking about her, I am finding it difficult to comprehend I am actually communicating with her.
I have shared and relived the joy of growing up in an amazing family, but have also had to face the sadness of losing them again. I have experienced guilt over the excitement I feel about being blessed with a new family, while knowing in my heart my family would be SO HAPPY for me.
But I don’t think I could have ever prepared myself for the way I would feel when I read some of the things my birth-mother wrote in her first letter to me. She said, “I’m glad I lived long enough to hear from you and to see you in July.” And she closed her letter with, “So glad you are in my life now.” “Take care, Love you, Mom Number 2.”