Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Everyone is entitled to an opinion (including me) and this is mine:  I have SO MUCH evidence in my life that God is REAL and LOVES me, I am truly sorry for those who don’t see, feel and know Him.

In a discussion with a close friend today (if you’re reading this, I CONSIDER YOU A FRIEND-that’s an inside joke!), I realized something I never considered before:  I have placed a wall of protection around myself, concerning my adoption, my entire life.  There are a couple of reasons for doing so that come to mind immediately:  an adoption support group leader explained to me that when you make the decision to search for your birth parent(s), you must be prepared to find the truth (which may or may not be what you expect or desire); combined with the love and respect I had for my parents and the fear of hurting their feelings, I have never allowed myself to consider what life might be like if I were to meet my birth parents. 

Well, I’m extremely overjoyed to report that I am about to find out!

I received a telephone call first thing this morning from my wonderful social worker telling me she was out of the office yesterday.  As funny as it sounds, I really thought that was the case when she didn’t call yesterday (I guess you could say I HOPED it was the case too!).  I say that because my social worker has followed through on everything she has ever promised and I honestly got the feeling from her that my birth mother would do the same.  I really didn’t want to believe either (or both) of them didn’t keep their word.

I was told a message was left on my social worker’s voice mail yesterday at approximately 4:30 pm from my birth mother.  Although I have many details I have not disclosed, I received confirmation last week that I have two half-sisters.  Part of my birth mother’s hesitation to make a decision on communicating with me was due to the fact she never told her daughters about my birth.  She wanted to speak with both of them prior to making her final decision.  The voice message my birth mother left said BOTH of her daughters want to contact me (she even gave my social worker both sister’s phone numbers).  Although I was extremely excited to hear the news, I asked if that meant she (my birth mother) WASN’T interested in contacting me?  Or perhaps she wanted her daughters to “feel me out first.”  My social worker wasn’t sure, but would obtain clarification after a meeting she was scheduled to attend.

I had the morning to ponder what meeting my half-sisters might look like.  I wonder if we look alike?  I wonder if we have common interests?  I wonder if we’ll actually like each other?

This afternoon, while I was in a meeting, I returned to find a lengthy voice message from my social worker.  I was informed my birth mother wants to communicate with me too! 

As I attempt to process what this all means, I want you to know that the details I’ve been provided so far are nothing less that amazing.  I have nothing but respect and admiration for my birth mother.  Rather than have an abortion (which would have been the easiest thing to do, not to mention the quickest), my birth mother made the selfless decision to leave her daughters with her mother, leave everyone she knew, to give me life.  She made the selfless decision to give me up for adoption (not to mention the GIFT OF A CHILD she gave to two individuals that were unable to have children) and return to her life empty handed, keeping her secret for over 50 years (and I can’t help but think she carried feelings of guilt and shame for everything that happened).  I CAN’T WAIT to tell her myself, how truly thankful and grateful I am!

More to come as my life story unfolds….

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